Dexter Seniors Speak Out on Toxic Overachievement
- Ursula Anderson
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Two Dexter High School seniors are speaking candidly about a pressure many teens quietly carry — toxic overachievement, the belief that self-worth is measured by grades, sports and résumé-building success.
As students continue their studies and begin selecting classes or making plans for fall, SRSLY Dexter recently led a schoolwide lesson on the mental health risks of tying identity to achievement. The Sun Times News spoke with senior Clara Lamb, Student President of SRSLY Dexter, and senior Kori Wilson, the club’s Vice President, about their personal experiences with the pressure to succeed and what they’ve learned about breaking free from it.
What Is “Toxic Overachievement”?
SRSLY Dexter, a grant-funded, nonprofit community coalition focused on youth mental health, strengthening community connections, and preventing substance use, designed the presentation around the idea that students are more than their accomplishments.
The content was informed by journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace’s New York Times bestselling book Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—And What We Can Do About It.
Lamb explained the distinction between healthy ambition and something more harmful.
“What we kind of went over with the ninth graders was the difference between having goals and being excited about your goals and wanting to achieve your goals, versus having goals and then taking everything else in your life away from you, because you have to achieve that goal,” Lamb said. “You feel all of your worth is just that goal and achieving that goal. If you don’t achieve that goal, it’s the end of the world, and you’re not yourself anymore.”
Lamb continued, “I’ve experienced toxic overachievement. I know most of my peers have experienced toxic overachievement. There’s definitely a rising culture of toxic overachievement, at least at our school, from what I’ve observed.”
Toxic Overachievement Interview:
Wilson described it in simpler, heavier terms.
“Toxic overachievement can look a little different for everyone, but it’s when your goals become more tied to who you are as a person,”she said. And when those goals aren’t reached, “You just sort of beat yourself down into the sense of you say that you’re not good enough anymore.”
Where Does the Pressure Come From?
According to Lamb, it’s complicated. “I think that the two biggest causes of it are parents and yourself,” she said. “There’s definitely a lot of parents pushing for that. But I do think that because of that, now the kids themselves have begun putting these goals on themselves and tying their worth to these goals.”
Wilson said expectations can also come from within families. “For me, personally, my sister was a very straight-A student, and I put those goals or expectations to do the same, because that’s just, that’s who I looked up to. I was always down on myself, saying I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t achieving all A’s, or I wasn’t doing the best in sports.”
Pretending Everything Is Fine
Lamb said one of the hardest parts of toxic overachievement is the performance, projecting confidence while feeling overwhelmed.
She described telling classmates she felt good about a test even when she didn’t. In English class, she pushed herself harder when friends were reviewing her essays. “I was trying really hard on my essays, because I didn’t want my friends to think that I was stupid,” she explained.
The pressure, she said, isn’t always loud. Often, it’s internal.
Advice for Parents, Peers and Teachers
When asked what parents can do, Lamb didn’t hesitate, saying, “One of the biggest things that parents can do is just be supportive and kind to their kids.”
For fellow students, Wilson offered perspective, explaining, “That one bad grade test, it doesn’t matter as much as you think it will.”
For educators, Lamb stressed connection, saying, “I think one of the biggest pieces of advice that I could give to teachers is getting to know your students and what your students’ goals are.”
She described the stress of balancing travel softball with homework and how teacher flexibility made a difference. “There were many times when I had to communicate with my teachers that I simply needed more time on things.”
Kindness as a Culture Shift
If there’s one message Lamb hopes sticks, it’s this: “Being kind to your peers and being kind to everyone is so important. If everyone were a little bit kinder to their peers, then everyone would succeed more.”
More Than a Résumé
SRSLY Dexter’s message to freshmen, and the broader community, is simple but powerful: Your worth is not your GPA.
For two seniors preparing to graduate, that lesson didn’t come overnight. But by sharing it, they hope younger students learn it sooner.
More information about SRSLY Dexter and its youth mental health resources is available at www.srslydexter.org
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